The Second Date Dilemma

So the dreaded first date went well, you avoided those nasty awkward silences and you think you made a good impression on your date. What now?

Well, hopefully you both had the sense to exchange informal contact details of some form. A lot of people wonder how to deal with the wait for a return call, or whether they should take the initiative to be the one to pick up the phone. It’s a big fuss over a small issue and if you got along like a house on fire, why not make the move yourself? You’ve nothing to lose.

The idea of every first date is to explore the chemistry and ultimately determine whether you’d like to go on a second date. Sounds about right, doesn’t it? There is no reason to fret by the phone and leave yourself in doubt as to whether your date enjoyed the first meeting or whether it was all an act. If you came away from the experience feeling good about your relationship, chances are they did too!

It’s best to give your date a little time to reflect on the first meeting before you’re leaving messages on their answering machine trying to lure them out again. Even more convenient is if you had the awareness to arrange a second date at the tail end of the first, but that doesn’t have to be the way to go about your romance.

If you haven’t received a call back within the time that you’d expect – and remember to set some aside! They might be busy! – Pluck up the courage and give them a call, asking them how they’ve been and keeping things casual. If you get positive vibes and the conversation feels natural, move it up a step and suggest that you meet again soon.

If your date is interested in you then he or she will be more than willing to commit to the second meeting. They’ll probably be over the moon that the duty of arranging it is off their shoulders! Set yourself a time and location, adjusting the theme accordingly to what you’ve learnt about each other and then look forward to your next meeting.

It really is as simple as that.

Of course, if you receive negative vibes and get the impression that your catch isn’t quite as enthusiastic as you are yourself, there’s an easy way out. If you’ve simply called to find out how they are, leave it at that. End the call on positive terms and leave the initiative in their hands if they wish to follow it up. Hey, you’ve done your bit! Now you can sit back and relax in the knowledge that whatever will be, will be.

In certain instances, you may not have to call your date to contact them at all. You might see each other through work or neutral friends. If this is the case, you should be able to get a spare minute or two aside to see how they’ve taken to you. Arranging a second date doesn’t have to be a painstaking decision, it should be a natural continuation of your relationship. But even if you don’t decide to pursue your interest, that doesn’t mean it has to end in tears. Far from it!

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